Celebrity Unofficial

Britney Spears has been much in the news lately as K-Fed has been handing subpeonas to everyone who ever so much as sat in the same room as his ex-wife, Britney Spears. The ostensive reason is because he’s so terribly, terribly, awfully concerned about his children’s welfare that he needs to have custody of them. Yeah right.

1) He’s such a concerned dad that he had no problem skipping out on his other children with Shar Jackson as soon as Britney showed interest in him. I’m not saying that makes him an awful person, but it does kind of put into perspective where his priorities lie.

2) He didn’t have any problem at all with her parenting when he was with her. Let’s remember it’s her who dumped him. He hadn’t expressed one negative thought to anyone about her parenting before she decided to kick his second-class, white trash, free-loading rear end the door.

3) Here’s the real reason, brought to us courtesy of TMZ from K’Fed’s court filings. He claims that Britney makes $737,868 per month, while:

The documents reveal K-Fed is receiving $20K a month for spousal support but the payments end on November 15.

And there you have it. His alimony runs out in just over 60 days when he has to go back to Ramen noodles, so he and his lawyer cook up the masterplan to drag Britney through the dirt in an attempt to extort money from her.

I’ve been extremely critical of her on these pages in the past, so no one is going to mistake me for an apologist. But quite frankly, if Britney is white trash then K-Fed is the maggot that feeds off of it. Her relationship with him has been a huge personal and professional mistake, and he is intent on sucking every bit of dignity from her before he finally skulks back into the shadows. Is she a perfect mother? Far from it…But try to imagine living with K-Fed, and just maybe you’d go a little crazy too…

Tags: Britney Spears, Celebrity Babies, Celebrity Divorce

Popularity: 82%

Anne Heche and her ex-to-be, Coleman Laffoon, are the latest celebrity break-up to make headlines for lurid accusations of misbehavior and an ugly custody dispute.

She’s accusing him of dishing the kid off on others while he stays home surfing online pornography, and he’s accusing her of being an absentee mother who dishes the kid off on nannies…

Hmm…there does seem to be at least one common thread here in that both of them are accusing the other of hiring other people to parent their child….Sounds to me like neither one of them is spending much time with the little boy, and perhaps he might be better off if custody were awarded to one of the nannies….

Tags: Anne Heche, Celebrity Divorce

Popularity: 11%

After Kate Hudson announced that she was separating from her husband back in August, he has decided to make a move of his own by serving her with divorce papers citing irreconcilable differences.

Although Hudson and Owen Wilson both deny it, it’s pretty obvious that the two have been involved since they filmed ‘You, Me & Dupree’ together. She’s been seen at his home and he vacationed with her and her son Ryder in Hawaii.

I would say that your wife moving on to a new man definitely qualifies as “irreconcilable differences.” This just makes it official…

Tags: Celebrity Divorce, Kate Hudson

Popularity: 47%

That’s the real question now that there are rumors that Freeloader is trying to extort millions from her based on a threatened release of a sex tape.

Based on what’s happened to the careers of other starlets who found themselves on the shelves of their local video stores, the answer is a resounding no. Would anyone have ever heard of Paris Hilton without hers? And we’d still be watching Baywatch reruns to catch a glimpse of Pamela Anderson without hers…

Both of these women owe pretty much their entire careers to the release of their tapes, so how effective is his extortion likely to be?

Granted, she probably wants to be spared the public embarrassment of having her sex lives in every living room around the world. But given her current career arc, it couldn’t help but ensure the success of her comeback, could it?

Tags: Britney Spears, Celebrity Divorce

Popularity: 52%

Just in case you had any doubt as to just how far Kevin Federline was willing to go to get his hands on Britney Spears’ money, he had his lawyer file a response to her divorce petition in which he is seeking sole custody of their two children and, of course, child support.

But wasn’t he the one who was out partying all night while Britney staying home with the baby? Why does he want the kids all of a sudden? Because he signed a pre-nup which is going to keep his grimy paws off her money, unless, of course, he can get custody of the kids and live off the child support.

His lawyer tried to intimate that Kevin was planning on filing himself, but Britney just beat him to it. Yeah right, Kev. We believe you. Honest. It’s not like we didn’t see your reaction for ourselves when you found out the Britney Spears money train had come to a stop.

What this means is that we’re going to see a very nasty custody battle in which a lot of dirt is going to be thrown in both directions. Luckily the children are too young to be aware of the nastiness and will hopefully be largely unaffected.

Tags: Britney Spears, Celebrity Divorce

Popularity: 52%

In the “couldn’t happen to a nicer guy” department, it turns out that Kevin Federline was as surprised by Britney Spears’ decision to dump him as almost everyone else. (OK, unlike Kevin, we all knew it was a matter of time, but you have to admit no one expected it to happen yesterday.)

In an ironic moment, earlier in the day I was just discussing with a friend who was asking for advice about ending his relationship with his current girlfriend that, in Singapore, a man can divorce his wife merely by text messaging her three times “I divorce you.” It looks like Britney did something similar.

Thanks to the magic of the internet, you can see the exact moment he finds out he’s getting d-u-m-p-e-d.

As I mentioned yesterday, the tone of the article definitely intimates that she is moving ahead with her comeback plans and was in New York recording new music. Even a quick readthrough reveals how much the tone of the Britney Spears coverage has changed literally overnight. I mean, when was the last time you heard a tabloid reporter say something positive about her?

It also talks about how much her marriage to him was dragging to her down:

“There is probably no other couple in showbiz who are as hated as them… He’s been seen as a gold-digger, an opportunist, using her to further his own career,” [eTalk gossip blogger Elaine (Lainey) Lui] said.

If this is a sign of things to come, Britney could be headed for a monster 2007.

Tags: Britney Spears, Celebrity Divorce

Popularity: 51%

Britney Spears is finally living up to expectations. After on-again, off-again rumors of trouble throughout her two year marriage, she is filing for divorce on the grounds of “irreconcilable differences.”

So why now? I think there are some significant factors at play:

1) She’s had her children, and he’s not any help with them anyway.

2) Her PR people have told her that her chances for a succesful comeback are pretty much zero as long as she’s still with that laughingstock.

3) She’s had enough of him draining her bank accounts to fund his pathetic attempt at a rap career.

4) The sex tape lawsuit falling through was the last straw.

I’m admittedly speculating here, but I’m guessing this is how things unfolded:

Some time ago, Freeloader convinced her to record their intimate moments. She reluctantly agreed after making him promise that no one would ever see or find out about it. Then someone absconds with the tape and a story appears in Us Weekly, and she’s furious. She tells him that since the whole thing was his idea, he had better fix it and get that story retracted or else. He assures that the lawyers can get the story retracted by threating a huge lawsuit and everything will be fine.

In the meantime, he’s living the big life: going out and partying while she stays home with the baby. He even convinces her that he could be a huge rap star, if only he had the opportunity. Being young and in love, she agrees to back him and puts both her celebrity and her money behind creating a career for the ne’er do well.

The album is finally released, and the entire world laughs at him, and at her for believing that this latter day Vanilla Ice ever had any talent. She feels betrayed because he had assured her over and over again that all he needed to prove all his critics wrong was a chance to get out there and show them how good he was. She gave him his shot, and he rolled snake-eyes.

Then the other shoe dropped with the decision to throw out the lawsuit. Not only has the story not been retracted, but essentially the judge told her that there was really never any grounds for a lawsuit in the first place. She’s embarrassed again, and this time it’s the last straw.

After all, she wants her career back. She’s had her children, and now she wants to get back in the spotlight. His antics and schemes are just holding her back, and her priorities have changed. It’s Britney’s time, and this is the first step to staging her comeback…

Tags: Britney Spears, Celebrity Divorce

Popularity: 51%

Could Ryan Phillippe’s infidelity result in a big payday in his split from Reese Witherspoon? Under California law, that just might be the case.

When the couple wed in 1999, neither was a huge box office draw. And Phillippe still isn’t. But Witherspoon definitely is. Her latest project, “Our Family Trouble,” (oh, the irony…) is set to earn her almost $30 million, and without a pre-nuptial agreement he may be entitled to half of it.

California is a “community-property” state which means that all assets and earnings from a marriage are split evenly down the middle when there is no pre-nuptial agreement that states otherwise. The news coming out of Hollywood is that there is no pre-nup, so Phillippe could walk away with half of everything Witherspoon has made in rise to one of being one of Hollywood’s best paid actresses.

Talk about adding insult to injury…

Tags: Celebrity Divorce, Reese Witherspoon

Popularity: 13%

Now that the shock has passed, it appears that there is much more to the story behind the break-up of Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe’s split than they initially let on.

If the latest reports are correct, Reese found pictures of Phillippe and his latest fling and forced a confession of having an affair with Abbie Cornish on the set of his latest film, ‘Stop Loss,’ out of him.

Here’s the first rule of having an affair, guys (I’m looking at you, Ryan Phillippe and Craig Schelske, the soon-to-be-ex Mr. Sara Evans): if you’re going to cheat on your very hot, ultra-talented wife, don’t take pictures of yourself doing it. If you’re dumb enough to need souvenirs of your infidelity, then I can’t say I feel badly for you when you get busted.

Tags: Celebrity Divorce, Reese Witherspoon

Popularity: 15%

In what would definitely qualify as the most shocking news of the day, uber-cutie actress Reese Witherspoon and hunky husband Ryan Phillippe announced through their publicists that they were planning to separate after seven years of marriage.

Both have been publicly effusive in the past about their affections for each other, so the news that they’re splitting is quite a surprise. They say that no one thing caused the rift, but rather an accumulation over time. Like I tell my friends all the time: it’s rarely something big that ends relationships, it’s all the little stuff that builds up and never gets resolved.

We’re sad to see what was an apparent Hollywood relationship success story end badly for both Witherspoon and Phillippe. It may go without saying, but I’m going to say it anyway, and I hope that they remember throughout the divorce proceedings that there are two little ones (7-year-old Ava and 3-year-old Deacon) involved and that they try to resolve things as amicably as possible a la Bruce Willis and Demi Moore.

Tags: Celebrity Divorce, Reese Witherspoon

Popularity: 15%