Celebrity Unofficial

If, as the old commercial says, “Nothing beats a great pair of legs,” then it’s going to be hard to beat Renee Zellweger in Milan today.

She’s shown here at a photocall for the launch of the new Tommy Hilfiger Limited Edition Bag. They definitely picked the right person to promote their line. Does Renee come with every purchase? If so, put me down for one…Two, if possible.

If you’ve ever dreamed of sitting down for a romantic dinner with Salma Hayek, you might want to cancel those reservations if you don’t have a particularly strong stomach.

Evidently, the lovely Ms. Hayek has a hankering for bugs.

The money quote?

She said: ‘These little ants fried are amazing with a little guacamole.

‘And the worms, there are many different recipes for those. The little grasshoppers have a smoky flavour to them.

‘It’s the way they cook them, and it’s really good.’

Umm…yeah….yummy.

For somebody who rarely makes the news for doing something good, Lindsay Lohan issued a statement following Natasha Richardson’s death actually struck the exact right tone:

“She was a wonderful woman and actress and treated me like I was her own,” Lohan’s statement read. “I didn’t see much of her over the years but I will miss her.”

It’s nice to see that she took the time out of rebelling against her parents, the media and pretty much everybody else on the planet to do the right thing.

How tired are you of being lectured by celebrities to “go green”?

In the kind of in-your-face article that you can really only get from the British press, the Daily Mail publishes an article dubbing these celebrities “hippy-crites.” They single out several celebrities for the environmental hypocrisy with John Travolta getting a special mention for his solo trans-Atlantic travel in his 707. Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and Madonna also merit special attention, but the list certainly doesn’t end with them either.

Especially in this day of instant information, it still shocks me when celebrities act like we can’t see that as they tell us to take shorter showers, use less toilet paper and make all sorts of other sacrifices in our lives; they’re living in houses many times larger than their family will ever need, jetting around the world on exotic vacations, and generally living lifestyles that make whatever sacrifices we make irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.

As far as I’m concerned, they made the money and they’re entitled to whatever lifestyle they can afford. But they need to get off their high horses when it comes to telling me that I’m not doing enough to “save the environment.”

As Glenn Reynolds of InstaPundit says, “I’ll believe it’s a crisis when the people telling me it is start acting like it.”

That’s right. Lindsay Lohan is going to get nude. Why? To prove she’s a serious actress, of course.

Since playing a stripper evidently didn’t go far enough on the nudity scale to get her serious attention, she’s supposedly decided to go all the way with full-frontal nudity as a nymphomaniac waitress in order to prove to people that she’s a “mature actress.”

I think that Lindsay has confused people taking her seriously with people paying attention to her. A nude woman isn’t like to get people to take her seriously, but it definitely is going to get people to pay attention.

Britney Spears has been removed from her home and committed to a psychiatric ward for the second time this month. This time, it was the product of a plan hatched by her mother to have her committed for a two-week period as a danger to herself and/or others.

The latest chapter in this tragic saga came after another series of bizarre behavior, and her mother decided that enough was enough. A little schadenfreude is one thing, but this has gone from an entertaining sideshow into a full-fledged tragedy. The article claims that she is being treated for bipolar disorder, but: a) there’s no one checking to see she’s actually taking prescribed medications, and b)those medications take time to get the dosages right, and the wrong dosage can actually exacerbate behaviors rather than reduce them.

There are claims of drug abuse, notably crystal meth, but I’d actually be surprised if this were the case. The way she’s hounded by paparazzi, how would she go get it without being photographed making the deal? And if she’s not doing the deal, who would be the person bringing her the drugs? This is one rumor I’m not buying. I think it’s simply a case of a little girl who never had a chance to grow up the way the rest of us did, and has completely lost her stuff trying to deal with the media circus that her life has become. Probably the best thing that could happen to her would be an extended retreat overseas away from the media’s prying eyes.

But is that going to happen? No way. I feel her mother is more concerned about ending the gravy train that Britney’s career has become for her and her family than she is about actually doing what’s best for her. This is the same woman that has pimped her daughter out to any media outlet willing to give her an audience since she was a little girl. Why should I believe that now, all of a sudden, all she cares about is taking care of her daughter? Sorry, not buying…

Gwen Stefani is expecting another baby according to the grandfather-to-be. Douglas Rossdale, father of her husband Gavin Rossdale, confirmed to People magazine that Gwen and Gavin will be adding to their family.

The baby is reportedly due in approximately 6 months as Rossdale said she is 13 weeks along in the pregnancy. We look forward to greeting the newest little rocker, and congrats to the happy couple!

In Passenger 57, Wesley Snipes taunts the bad guy by telling him to “always bet on black.” It won’t be long not until we find out if his gambling advice is any good because his lawyers just rested their case in his federal tax evasion case without calling a single witness.

Not having been in the courtroom I don’t know if their confidence is justified, or if it’s just a huge bluff. The reality is one of the following: a) the case against Snipes is actually that weak, b) they believe the jury is so far in their pocket they don’t need to mount an actual defense, c) their witnesses weren’t going to say what they hoped, or d) they’re bluffing the jury. I would tend to believe that they believe that his lawyers have some mix of (b) and (d) going on because I find it difficult to believe that federal prosecutors would bring that weak of a case against a celebrity (black or not).

He wasn’t very good in selecting his financial advisors, we’ll soon see if he did any better picking his lawyers…

If you’ve been looking for a reason to watch Desperate Housewives this season, I found it: Dana Delany is joining the cast as Katherine Mayfair, the newest of the housewives.

I have to confess that I’ve always enjoyed Dana Delany, and quite frankly, Desperate Housewives really started to lose its luster for me last season. So I’m looking forward to seeing what she adds to the mix. According to the article, she’s going to play a darker version of Bree (Marcia Cross).

I’m keeping my fingers crossed hoping that she injects some much needed new life into the show because if this new addition fails to do that, Housewives could find itself in some ratings jeopardy by the end of the season.

Britney Spears has been much in the news lately as K-Fed has been handing subpeonas to everyone who ever so much as sat in the same room as his ex-wife, Britney Spears. The ostensive reason is because he’s so terribly, terribly, awfully concerned about his children’s welfare that he needs to have custody of them. Yeah right.

1) He’s such a concerned dad that he had no problem skipping out on his other children with Shar Jackson as soon as Britney showed interest in him. I’m not saying that makes him an awful person, but it does kind of put into perspective where his priorities lie.

2) He didn’t have any problem at all with her parenting when he was with her. Let’s remember it’s her who dumped him. He hadn’t expressed one negative thought to anyone about her parenting before she decided to kick his second-class, white trash, free-loading rear end the door.

3) Here’s the real reason, brought to us courtesy of TMZ from K’Fed’s court filings. He claims that Britney makes $737,868 per month, while:

The documents reveal K-Fed is receiving $20K a month for spousal support but the payments end on November 15.

And there you have it. His alimony runs out in just over 60 days when he has to go back to Ramen noodles, so he and his lawyer cook up the masterplan to drag Britney through the dirt in an attempt to extort money from her.

I’ve been extremely critical of her on these pages in the past, so no one is going to mistake me for an apologist. But quite frankly, if Britney is white trash then K-Fed is the maggot that feeds off of it. Her relationship with him has been a huge personal and professional mistake, and he is intent on sucking every bit of dignity from her before he finally skulks back into the shadows. Is she a perfect mother? Far from it…But try to imagine living with K-Fed, and just maybe you’d go a little crazy too…