Celebrity Unofficial

Denise Richards took matters into her own hands when two paparazzi showed up on the set of her new movie, ‘Blonde and Blonder.’ She took their laptops and tossed them off the hotel balcony. Unfortunately, she forgot to yell ‘Look out below!’ before she did so, and ended up hitting two elderly women.

Neither woman was seriously injured, nor do they want to press charges. However, police haven’t ruled out any charges as of yet. Given that the women don’t want to pursue the matter, and Denise Richards doesn’t have a previous “troublemaker” reputation, I’d be surprised if any are filed.

But back to the issue at hand, once again we have a situation where paparazzi are instigating trouble by being somewhere they don’t belong. Granted, Richards responded badly to their presence, no doubt about it. The resort told police that they had no permission to be on the property, so where are the trespassing charges against them?

I’m feeling like a broken record today after just blogging on this topic yesterday, but something needs to be done or people are going to get seriously hurt…

…and not in a good way…Lindsay Lohan was rear-ended by a paparazzo after leaving a nightclub. She drove a little way and called a friend to come pick her up. She’s OK, but I’m steaming mad.

Lindsay Lohan has definitely done enough to put herself in the media spotlight, but the paparazzi are clearly out of control. This is at least the second, and possibly third, time that their antics have caused her to have an automobile accident.

I’m almost totally against government involvement in most aspects of anyone’s lives. But since these morons are endangering people and can’t get their acts straight, I’m beginning to think that requiring that they be licensed or something. I don’t know what the solution is, but there is quite obviously a problem here that is going to get somebody killed sooner rather than later.

The People’s Choice Awards have announced the 2007 nominees, and two familiar names top the list: Johnny Depp and Halle Berry.

Both have been nominated for Top Star and Top Action Star in their respective male/female categories, and Depp picked up an additional nod for Best On-Screen Match-up with Keira Knightley.

There are tons of awards shows, and it seems like the number grows every year. But the People’s Choice ranks among my favorites because it is that: it’s our choice.

Awards aren’t distributed by some inside-baseball voting of who made the most politically correct film or album and often feature work that no one has ever seen or heard. They’re voted on by the people who are actually putting their money where their mouth is: you and me - the ones who keep the entertainment industry afloat by paying to buy the music and see the movies.

In the “couldn’t happen to a nicer guy” department, it turns out that Kevin Federline was as surprised by Britney Spears’ decision to dump him as almost everyone else. (OK, unlike Kevin, we all knew it was a matter of time, but you have to admit no one expected it to happen yesterday.)

In an ironic moment, earlier in the day I was just discussing with a friend who was asking for advice about ending his relationship with his current girlfriend that, in Singapore, a man can divorce his wife merely by text messaging her three times “I divorce you.” It looks like Britney did something similar.

Thanks to the magic of the internet, you can see the exact moment he finds out he’s getting d-u-m-p-e-d.

As I mentioned yesterday, the tone of the article definitely intimates that she is moving ahead with her comeback plans and was in New York recording new music. Even a quick readthrough reveals how much the tone of the Britney Spears coverage has changed literally overnight. I mean, when was the last time you heard a tabloid reporter say something positive about her?

It also talks about how much her marriage to him was dragging to her down:

“There is probably no other couple in showbiz who are as hated as them… He’s been seen as a gold-digger, an opportunist, using her to further his own career,” [eTalk gossip blogger Elaine (Lainey) Lui] said.

If this is a sign of things to come, Britney could be headed for a monster 2007.

Britney Spears is finally living up to expectations. After on-again, off-again rumors of trouble throughout her two year marriage, she is filing for divorce on the grounds of “irreconcilable differences.”

So why now? I think there are some significant factors at play:

1) She’s had her children, and he’s not any help with them anyway.

2) Her PR people have told her that her chances for a succesful comeback are pretty much zero as long as she’s still with that laughingstock.

3) She’s had enough of him draining her bank accounts to fund his pathetic attempt at a rap career.

4) The sex tape lawsuit falling through was the last straw.

I’m admittedly speculating here, but I’m guessing this is how things unfolded:

Some time ago, Freeloader convinced her to record their intimate moments. She reluctantly agreed after making him promise that no one would ever see or find out about it. Then someone absconds with the tape and a story appears in Us Weekly, and she’s furious. She tells him that since the whole thing was his idea, he had better fix it and get that story retracted or else. He assures that the lawyers can get the story retracted by threating a huge lawsuit and everything will be fine.

In the meantime, he’s living the big life: going out and partying while she stays home with the baby. He even convinces her that he could be a huge rap star, if only he had the opportunity. Being young and in love, she agrees to back him and puts both her celebrity and her money behind creating a career for the ne’er do well.

The album is finally released, and the entire world laughs at him, and at her for believing that this latter day Vanilla Ice ever had any talent. She feels betrayed because he had assured her over and over again that all he needed to prove all his critics wrong was a chance to get out there and show them how good he was. She gave him his shot, and he rolled snake-eyes.

Then the other shoe dropped with the decision to throw out the lawsuit. Not only has the story not been retracted, but essentially the judge told her that there was really never any grounds for a lawsuit in the first place. She’s embarrassed again, and this time it’s the last straw.

After all, she wants her career back. She’s had her children, and now she wants to get back in the spotlight. His antics and schemes are just holding her back, and her priorities have changed. It’s Britney’s time, and this is the first step to staging her comeback…

Watch it for yourself:

Her people say that she was being ‘playful.’

My thoughts: Yeah right. It’s plainly obvious from the video that this wasn’t being playful. This is the video of a woman who thought she had it wrapped up and was genuinely ticked off that she lost. She started to raise her hands in triumph when the announcement was made, and then - in an unguarded moment - we see what she’s really feeling once it sinks in that she didn’t win.

Not that Faith Hill isn’t talented, but her ego clearly got ahead of her in this case. She’s used to the adulation that is regularly heaped upon her and her husband, Tim McGraw; and I think she was honestly stunned that she didn’t get the award she so clearly felt she deserved.

This is what happens when celebrities start believing their own PR hype…

Britney Spears can’t sue for defamation about her sex life. So says the judge in a case she and Kevin Freeloader brought against Us Weekly after the magazine published an article saying that there was a sex tape of the two which they feared would be broadcast on the internet.

I have to agree with the judge on this one. It was a rare common sense from the bench which said, in essence: Hey Britney. You’ve made your entire living from selling your sexuality. Your reputation can’t possibly be ruined if someone says you made a sex tape with your husband since your reputation is entirely based on sex.

I don’t think anyone has ever argued that Britney Spears is a great singing talent…at least not with a straight face, anyway. Her popularity is entirely based on guys that fantasize about her and the girls who want to have her level of sexuality.

Evidently, her lawsuit never claimed that there was no sex tape: only that she was upset that the article claimed that she acted “goofy” when they went to their lawyers to discuss their options. It was a moronic lawsuit to bring on the flimsiest possible grounds.

Based on this decision, I can only conclude that the sex tape does indeed exist, because Britney never contested this portion of the story. The judge correctly decided that, because Spears and Freeloader couldn’t refute that basic truth of the story, they tried to sneak in a lawsuit designed only to intimidate Us Weekly based on a claim which was essentially beside the point.

I’m all for celebrities having a remedy when lies are told about them, but I’m also glad the judge found for Us Weekly in this case. Using thelegal system and their vast financial resources to intimidate people into silence is an abuse of the law, and it’s great that the case was heard by a judge who recognized it for what it was…

Kylie Minogue is set to make her much-anticipated return to touring for the first time since May 2005, when she had to cut her tour short after being diagnosed with breast cancer.

During the interim she has undergone chemotherapy and had a tumor removed and found time to pen a fictional book: The Showgirl Princess.

Kylie says she’s still got a mountain to climb:

…But I don’t fancy hanging around at the bottom of the mountain.

Hilary Duff just got a taste of the downside of fame: she had a stalker. It’s an unfortunate fact of life that there are crazies out there like this guy who fixate on celebrities - usually young, attractive female ones.

This has been an on-going situation for the last six weeks, and Duff had already obtained a restraining order against him.

According to her people this guy made specific threats regarding her appearance at a weekend event. So he’s now cooling his heels in lock-up pending $200,000 bail.

There may be a lot of things to envy about the celebrity lifestyle, but this sure isn’t one of them. The only good part is that celebrities can afford the security to keep the loons at a distance.

Russell Crowe is ticked off that his celebrity didn’t buy him immunity from his own stupidity here in the U.S.

After the awful crime of being unable to complete a phone call to Crowe’s wife, Russell Crowe’s misplaced sense of justice drove him to hit an unwitting hotel clerk with a telephone. Now Crowe is outraged (outraged!) that here in the United States there are consequences when you do something that monumentally moronic - even if you’re a big celebrity.

He says:

“Where I come from, a confrontation like that, as basic and simple as that, would have been satisfied with a handshake and an apology.”

Hey Russell, where I come from people aren’t so immature that we hit people with telephones and expect to get away with it scot free…